And once again, martial law is declared in Azeroth! No doubt giving the Alliance a chance to cover up some more of their vicious atrocities.
It makes me sick that they require several hours per week to do this. And I wonder what nefarious reason they have for choosing their day as Tuesday?
Bin mog g'thazag cha
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
4 Reasons Why Horde Rules
Lok'Tar Azeroth!
On the fence? Still need to be convinced?
Here are 4 quick reasons why the Horde is the superior side:
1. THE HORDE IS MORE TOLERANT.
Let's face facts. If you join the Horde, you're joining a diverse collection of like-minded beings. Sure we have differences, as only cross-culturalism can provide, but we're a family. Sometimes families squabble, but at the end of the day we still break bread with each other over stories of Alliance cowardice.
If you join the Alliance however, you're simply joining a society that is unwilling to treat you as an equal but still willing to use your stuff. Case in point? Take a look at the map of Stormwind. See the top right? That there, my friends, is the Dwarven Quarter.
Seriously. The Alliance values the Dwarves so much, they are FORCED to live in a different part of the city. Do you get this kind of thing in ANY Horde city?
Absolutely not.
I say this now, Dwarves of Azeroth. You don't have to live by the rules of scumbags like this. Come over to the Horde. We make the best beer anyway. We'll even give you a place to put your hammer. (Bury it in a human. HA!)
2. THE HORDE WINS THE GUNSHIP BATTLE ALL OF THE TIME.
I'll say this about the Skybreaker. It's built well. How else can it suffer the same pounding week after week and still keep coming back? Every Thursday night my guild and I board the Orgrim's Hammer to try and stop the Scourge once and for all, and every time the Skybreaker appears out of nowhere to try and stop us.
It makes me wonder why they're interfering in our mission. Do they WANT the scourge to overrun Azeroth?
Why would anybody want to be part of a team that takes a beating so badly and so often?
3. HORDE HAS THE COOLEST MOTORCYCLES.
Nothing beats the Mechano-hog. It's big, it's loud and it fits two Taurens. The Alliance equivalent showcases the whiny entitlement we've come to admire. "Mekgineer's Chopper". Meh.
Now I don't know who this "Mekgineer" fellow is, but he seems quite happy to take credit for every single Alliance motorcycle out there. Is he really that needy? The Mechano-hog has no owner. It's the equivalent of a wild animal. Owned by nothing, slave to no-one.
4. THE HORDE CAPITAL CITIES ARE MUCH MORE PEACEFUL.
I tell you, every now and then I have the "honor" of visiting an Alliance city. (Actually I have to admit, Stormwind and Ironforge are quite impressive. And The Exodar is a crashed spaceship, which is pretty cool.)
However, I can't really enjoy myself since a fight is almost guaranteed to break out within thirty seconds.
Every time, guards and privateers attack me. Often coming in waves. I usually wake up in the graveyard with a quarter of my armor severely dented.
Every single time. It's almost guaranteed.
Now does this ever happen at a Horde city? Nope! I've spent hours and hours in every Horde city, and nobody has EVER attacked me.
What kind of hate-filled hostile environment is being fostered by the Alliance? And do we want the same for our own people?
There it is, folks. 4 good reasons why the dominant faction in Azeroth is, and always should be, the mighty Horde!
And if that won't do it, I have hundreds more. Keep reading, and watch your backs!
Bin mog g'thazag cha
On the fence? Still need to be convinced?
Here are 4 quick reasons why the Horde is the superior side:
1. THE HORDE IS MORE TOLERANT.
Let's face facts. If you join the Horde, you're joining a diverse collection of like-minded beings. Sure we have differences, as only cross-culturalism can provide, but we're a family. Sometimes families squabble, but at the end of the day we still break bread with each other over stories of Alliance cowardice.
If you join the Alliance however, you're simply joining a society that is unwilling to treat you as an equal but still willing to use your stuff. Case in point? Take a look at the map of Stormwind. See the top right? That there, my friends, is the Dwarven Quarter.
Seriously. The Alliance values the Dwarves so much, they are FORCED to live in a different part of the city. Do you get this kind of thing in ANY Horde city?
Absolutely not.
I say this now, Dwarves of Azeroth. You don't have to live by the rules of scumbags like this. Come over to the Horde. We make the best beer anyway. We'll even give you a place to put your hammer. (Bury it in a human. HA!)
2. THE HORDE WINS THE GUNSHIP BATTLE ALL OF THE TIME.
I'll say this about the Skybreaker. It's built well. How else can it suffer the same pounding week after week and still keep coming back? Every Thursday night my guild and I board the Orgrim's Hammer to try and stop the Scourge once and for all, and every time the Skybreaker appears out of nowhere to try and stop us.
It makes me wonder why they're interfering in our mission. Do they WANT the scourge to overrun Azeroth?
Why would anybody want to be part of a team that takes a beating so badly and so often?
3. HORDE HAS THE COOLEST MOTORCYCLES.
Nothing beats the Mechano-hog. It's big, it's loud and it fits two Taurens. The Alliance equivalent showcases the whiny entitlement we've come to admire. "Mekgineer's Chopper". Meh.
Now I don't know who this "Mekgineer" fellow is, but he seems quite happy to take credit for every single Alliance motorcycle out there. Is he really that needy? The Mechano-hog has no owner. It's the equivalent of a wild animal. Owned by nothing, slave to no-one.
4. THE HORDE CAPITAL CITIES ARE MUCH MORE PEACEFUL.
I tell you, every now and then I have the "honor" of visiting an Alliance city. (Actually I have to admit, Stormwind and Ironforge are quite impressive. And The Exodar is a crashed spaceship, which is pretty cool.)
However, I can't really enjoy myself since a fight is almost guaranteed to break out within thirty seconds.
Every time, guards and privateers attack me. Often coming in waves. I usually wake up in the graveyard with a quarter of my armor severely dented.
Every single time. It's almost guaranteed.
Now does this ever happen at a Horde city? Nope! I've spent hours and hours in every Horde city, and nobody has EVER attacked me.
What kind of hate-filled hostile environment is being fostered by the Alliance? And do we want the same for our own people?
There it is, folks. 4 good reasons why the dominant faction in Azeroth is, and always should be, the mighty Horde!
And if that won't do it, I have hundreds more. Keep reading, and watch your backs!
Bin mog g'thazag cha
What you need to know
Lok'Tar Azeroth!
This is Ian the Angry Orc, and I have an axe to grind.
My friends, Azeroth as we know it is in the proverbial swamp. Our once great land has been torn apart by petty skirmishes, fought against the backdrop of manifest destiny, under the banner of whiny self-entitled pink bags of meat and water.
I speak of course, of the Alliance.
There is little doubt that much of our suffering is caused by Varian Wrynn. His approval numbers are way down, and I don't even know what approval numbers are. (If an orc has a low approval rating, axes are thrown at his head). Clearly this "Alliance" is struggling, and they're taking Azeroth with them.
We need to return to traditional Horde values. We need to reclaim our land. We need to end human aggression, and put a stop to the plague of blue banners that creeps across our land and threatens us all.
For those in the know (and if you're reading this, you're well on your way) the Horde is clearly the team to be on.
Join me here as I post my thoughts and ruminations of Alliance atrocities. The truth must be told. The truth that the Alliance does not want you to know!
Bin mog g'thazag cha
This is Ian the Angry Orc, and I have an axe to grind.
My friends, Azeroth as we know it is in the proverbial swamp. Our once great land has been torn apart by petty skirmishes, fought against the backdrop of manifest destiny, under the banner of whiny self-entitled pink bags of meat and water.
I speak of course, of the Alliance.
There is little doubt that much of our suffering is caused by Varian Wrynn. His approval numbers are way down, and I don't even know what approval numbers are. (If an orc has a low approval rating, axes are thrown at his head). Clearly this "Alliance" is struggling, and they're taking Azeroth with them.
We need to return to traditional Horde values. We need to reclaim our land. We need to end human aggression, and put a stop to the plague of blue banners that creeps across our land and threatens us all.
For those in the know (and if you're reading this, you're well on your way) the Horde is clearly the team to be on.
Join me here as I post my thoughts and ruminations of Alliance atrocities. The truth must be told. The truth that the Alliance does not want you to know!
Bin mog g'thazag cha
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